Punctuation

Four Star Member Joined : 17 Jan 2008 Posts : 203

"An old, old man once said to me:

'I've dug a well at the top of a tree

I've found a nest in the caspian sea

I've caught a fish in a cup of tea

I've put some sugar in the air

I've seen a kite inside a pear

I've found a worm with 12 false teeth

I eat my meat with a holly wreath

I decorate my home with cheese

I catch the mice upon my knees

I do declare the truth you'll see

If you punctuate this carefully'."

Can YOU understand what the old man was really trying to say?

Subject: Re: Punctuation Tue Jun 10, 2008 10:30 pm

Don,

Here's my first shot:

"An old, old man once said to me:

'I've dug a well.

At the top of a tree, I've found a nest.

In the caspian sea, I've caught a fish.

In a cup of tea, I've put some sugar.

In the air, I've seen a kite,

Inside a pear, I've found a worm.

With 12 false teeth, I eat my meat.

With a holly wreath, I decorate my home.

With cheese, I catch the mice.

Upon my knees I do declare, the truth you'll see

if you punctuate this carefully'."

Still doesn't look quite right but I'm worn out today.
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Admin Joined : 11 Jan 2008 Posts : 1784 Location : UK

This is brilliant practice for editing the anthology!

"An old, old man once said to me:

'I've dug a well; at the top of a tree,

I've found a nest; in the Caspian Sea,

I've caught a fish; in a cup of tea,

I've put some sugar; in the air,

I've seen a kite; inside a pear,

I've found a worm; with 12 false teeth,

I eat my meat; with a holly wreath,

I decorate my home; with cheese,

I catch the mice; upon my knees,

I do declare; the truth you'll see,

If you punctuate this carefully'."
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Shelagh Watkins
http://shelaghwatkins.co.uk/

Four Star Member Joined : 17 Jan 2008 Posts : 203

Well, you guys are at the same place I am, but what exactly do you think he is trying to say, or am I reading too much into the line at the bottom of the poem?

Subject: Re: Punctuation Wed Jun 11, 2008 12:52 am

Don,

For me it is the fact that it makes no sense in the original form. After the punctuation is added it does.
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Admin Joined : 11 Jan 2008 Posts : 1784 Location : UK

Don, Don, don't get hooked on this
It's just an exercise for you and me...

I can tell by the question you ask
You're seein' way too much in this
Don, Don, don't get hooked on this
'Cause it's only meant to rhyme you see.
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Shelagh Watkins
http://shelaghwatkins.co.uk/

Subject: Re: Punctuation Wed Jun 11, 2008 3:00 pm

I think this rates more of a Zen approach. If you go back and roll around in the words a little, it's about the old man's awareness of where he's been and what he's done. I would suggest that the author is using the puncutation exercise as a way to lead others into a level of awareness that the old man had.

An old, old man once said to me,

"'I've dug a well.
At the top of a tree, I've found a nest.
In the Caspian Sea, I've caught a fish.
In a cup of tea, I've put some sugar.
In the air, I've seen a kite.
Inside a pear, I've found a worm.
With 12 false teeth, I eat my meat.
With a holly wreath, I decorate my home.
With cheese, I catch the mice."

Upon my knees I do declare, the truth you'll see if you punctuate this carefully.

:pirat:
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Pam Robertson

http://andthebandplayedonmylawn.blogspot.com

Admin Joined : 11 Jan 2008 Posts : 1784 Location : UK

But it doesn't rhyme. You taken something away -- it's lost its flow.
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Shelagh Watkins
http://shelaghwatkins.co.uk/

Subject: Re: Punctuation Wed Jun 11, 2008 3:15 pm

So the truth is out then...I never did like poetry that rhymed much. To me it waasn't about flow, but about what we know.
:pirat:
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Pam Robertson

http://andthebandplayedonmylawn.blogspot.com

Subject: Re: Punctuation Wed Jun 11, 2008 4:09 pm

What little I know of poetry is from what I have read and enjoyed. Rhythm and Rhyme are what I am drawn to.
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Zada Connaway
Mother's Journals: parts 1, 2 and 3 ISBN # 1-4241-6969-0

http://www.zadaconnaway.com/

Subject: Re: Punctuation Wed Jun 11, 2008 4:15 pm

A great way to help teach kids about punctuation.
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