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1st and 3rd Person

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Sue Sunshine
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PostSubject: 1st and 3rd Person   Sun May 18, 2008 3:42 pm

I have been reading Stephen King's book on writing. I have a question for you.

Without using the third person how would one emphasize a specific emotion to the reader on the quote below. It could be said sarcastically, adamantly, etc. Those are third person adverbs. In this exercise I want to let the reader know that it is being said adamantly without using that word. How would you handle it?

"Do not go there."


P.S. I am not using this in any of my writings. It was just a question that came to me while reading about using third person in writing novels.

Thanks for the help to my question.

sunny
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Shelagh
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PostSubject: Re: 1st and 3rd Person   Sun May 18, 2008 4:21 pm

"Do not go there," he warned.

"Do not go there," she fired back at him.

"Do not go there," Jack issued a stern warning.

"Do not go there," his mother demanded.
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Sue Sunshine
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PostSubject: Re: 1st and 3rd Person   Sun May 18, 2008 5:10 pm

All very, very good, Shelagh! Thank you! Now I see what Stephen King is saying. I just needed to see it in writing.

Thanks again!
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Forest Elf
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PostSubject: Re: 1st and 3rd Person   Sun May 25, 2008 7:19 pm

Then there is the 80s Valley Elf way of saying it:

"Oh my Gaaaahd! Like you know, like, do not go there! Because you will totally freak me out!" Suspect
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Phil Whitley
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PostSubject: Re: 1st and 3rd Person   Sun May 25, 2008 7:38 pm

It could also be handled with no attribution tag at all by word emphasis. Like:

"Do not go there." (the word not italicized)

And after reading On Writing, I went back to my current
work-in-progress and removed eleventy-seven billion adverbs. I now have
a completed 47 word novel.
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Last edited by Phil Whitley on Sun May 25, 2008 7:41 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Malcolm
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PostSubject: Re: 1st and 3rd Person   Sun May 25, 2008 7:38 pm

Shelagh,

What am I missing here? Your examples are all third person. Wasn't the question about doing it without using third?

Malcolm
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madhatter
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PostSubject: Re: 1st and 3rd Person   Sun May 25, 2008 8:02 pm

Yes, all are third person POV...but, not with the adverb tags.
At least, that's what I understood.

I might try something like this.

The twitch beside Jack's left eye returned. Menace sparked from his face; an evil aura.

"Do not go there."
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Sue Sunshine
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PostSubject: Re: 1st and 3rd Person   Mon May 26, 2008 1:35 am

I am sorry, Malcolm, it was 3rd person adverbs not just 3rd person. After you asked I re-read what I had posted and I did say 3rd person but then I think I clarified it.

You see, I have been working on making my dialog better. That is one area I am very weak on when writing fiction. I need all the help I can get there. *smile*

Thanks everyone for your input. It helps me immensely.
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Malcolm
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PostSubject: Re: 1st and 3rd Person   Mon May 26, 2008 10:14 am

Being a grammar dunce, I have no clue what a third person adverb is or even that such a thing existed.

Explain?

Malcolm
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lin
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PostSubject: Re: 1st and 3rd Person   Mon May 26, 2008 10:28 am

I seriously doubt there is such a thing.
This thread has been confusing me as well.
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PostSubject: Re: 1st and 3rd Person   Mon May 26, 2008 11:19 am

Malcolm wrote:
Shelagh,

What am I missing here? Your examples are all third person. Wasn't the question about doing it without using third?

Malcolm

I assumed Sue meant third person pronouns (he/she) and the first two examples used he and she. Sue asked how to write by not using third person (pronouns) and, in the last two examples, I used Jack and his mother.

I think Sue received the answer she sought but didn't really understand the difference between third person (pov), third person pronoun and adverbs ending in ly.
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Malcolm
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PostSubject: Re: 1st and 3rd Person   Mon May 26, 2008 11:32 am

Maybe I'm slightly less confused now.

Malcolm
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Sue Sunshine
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PostSubject: Re: 1st and 3rd Person   Mon May 26, 2008 2:25 pm

Ok, since I don't have the book any longer let me see if I can recall wht was said that raised my question.

Examples of how not to say it:

"Do not go there," he said adamantly.
"Do not go there," he haughtily spoke.

Example of how to say it:

"Do not go there," he stated.
"Do not go there," he warned.

Do you see the difference? It took me a while to see it and I needed Shelagh's examples to show me.
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lin
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PostSubject: Re: 1st and 3rd Person   Mon May 26, 2008 3:00 pm

Those two sets of sentences are both in third person.

An adverb doesn't have a specific "person" attached to it.
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Shelagh
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PostSubject: Re: 1st and 3rd Person   Mon May 26, 2008 5:09 pm

Sue Sunshine wrote:
Ok, since I don't have the book any longer let me see if I can recall wht was said that raised my question.

Examples of how not to say it:

"Do not go there," he said adamantly.
"Do not go there," he haughtily spoke.

Example of how to say it:

"Do not go there," he stated.
"Do not go there," he warned.

Do you see the difference? It took me a while to see it and I needed Shelagh's examples to show me.

Sue,

The use of third person caused the confusion. It doesn't matter if you write in first, second or third person -- I and we (first), you (second), he, she and they (third). The recommendation in the book was to find alternatives to using adverbs ending in ly to describe actions (verbs).

In the examples you gave, said adamantly is replaced with a single verb: stated.

This recommendation applies equally to I/you/he/she/we/they said adamantly. i.e. I/you/he/she/we/they stated.

The use of adverbs is a separate issue to the use of first/second/third person.
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