funny southern tote bag

Subject: funny southern tote bag Sat Jun 21, 2008 2:28 am

Last year at a writers conference, I had a bit of a disagreement with a fellow on the use or overuse of adjectives in southern fiction. I had him laughing, but I still don't think he GOT me.
So, this year, I have designed a tote bag to take along. It is hot pink with a little cat logo....and it reads....

"A southern fiction author without adjectives is like a warm cathead biscuit without melted creamy butter and smooth sweet cane syrup."

Let's see how many comments I get from the other attendees on this one.

And, yes...I did manage to fit it onto the bag.

_________________
Southern fiction with a madhatter twist...
www.rhettdevane.com

Subject: Re: funny southern tote bag Sat Jun 21, 2008 12:01 pm

That's quite a mouthful to say. The eating part is difficult to comprehend.
Now don't tell me your mother approved of this. Or did she write it? scratch

_________________
"To Beirut and Back"
http://www.freewebs.com/abemarch

Subject: Re: funny southern tote bag Sat Jun 21, 2008 12:53 pm

It should attract attention, no doubt about it. Bet you're asked a lot of questions, especially about cathead biscuits.
_________________
Mystery Writers of America, Private Eye Writers of America
www.dickstodghill.com

Subject: Re: funny southern tote bag Sat Jun 21, 2008 1:56 pm

Mmmmm. Biscuits .....
_________________

~ JoElle Martín ~

http://www.dreamersforest.com

Subject: Re: funny southern tote bag Sat Jun 21, 2008 2:42 pm

Bad news for makers of those cathead biscuits. The owner of White Lily flour has moved the manufacturing out of the South.

Who ever thought White Lily would be gone with the wind?

Malcolm
_________________
Malcolm R. Campbell

http://www.malcolmrcampbell.com

Subject: Re: funny southern tote bag Sat Jun 21, 2008 2:51 pm

That news is just tragic, Malcolm!

Is nothing sacred anymore????
_________________
Southern fiction with a madhatter twist...
www.rhettdevane.com

Admin Joined : 11 Jan 2008 Posts : 1780 Location : UK

A biscuit by any other name would be a scone!

Mention scones and most people will think of jam and cream, but the basic dough is very versatile and can be used for a variety of savoury treats as well.
Simple Scones

8 oz self-raising flour
Pinch of salt
1 teaspoon baking powder
2 oz margarine
¼ pint milk
Beaten egg or milk to glaze

Pre-heat the oven to 220C, gas mark 7. Grease a baking sheet.

Sieve together the flour, salt and baking powder. Rub in the margarine until it resembles fine breadcrumbs. Make a well in the centre and, using a knife, stir in milk until the dough starts to stick together. Finish it off with your hands, then turn onto a floured board and knead lightly to give a smooth dough.

Roll out to ¾" thickness and, using a 2" cutter, cut out the scones. After the first cuttings, knead together the trimmings and repeat. Place the scones on the baking sheet and brush with beaten egg or milk to glaze.

Bake for 10-12 minutes until well-risen and golden-brown. Allow to cool slightly on a wire rack then serve warm and thickly buttered.

Southern cat head biscuits:

Ingredients

2 cups all-purposed flour
1/4 tsp salt
4 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp cream of tartar
1/2 cup vegetable shortening
2/3 cup milk

Directions

Preheat oven to 425
Mix dry ingredients in large mixing bowl
work in shortening with a pastry blender until you have a fine, irregular mixture of small crumbs.
Add mik all at once and stir with fork until dough comes together.
Turn out on lightly floured surface and GENTLY knead dough no more than 12 or 14 times. This is the critical step. If you overknead you will develop the flour gluten and have tough biscuits.
Pat dough lightly until it is slightly more than 1/2 inch thick
At this point you can use a sharp knife and cut into squares or other shapes or use a 2 inch round cutter or empty can. If using round cutter, press scraps together and form a couple of extra biscuits.
Place at least one inch apart on ungreased baking or cookie sheet.
Bake for about 15 minutes until puffy and browned.

Scones and jam are traditional for afternoon tea (cream tea)

http://www.joyofbaking.com/scones.html

The best scones I ever tasted were at the Sign of the Takahe in New Zealand:

http://www.signofthetakahe.com/

_________________
Shelagh Watkins
http://shelaghwatkins.co.uk/

Subject: Re: funny southern tote bag Sat Jun 21, 2008 3:42 pm

Rhett I wonder if you would be taking a couple of cathead biscuits along with you to the conference. That way you could show folks what they look like. Just don't let them eat them unless there is a spot where you can warm them up and do a little slathering.
Great idea about the bag!

Shelagh that little one with the cream and jam looks absolutely fabulous!
_________________
Pam Robertson

http://andthebandplayedonmylawn.blogspot.com

Subject: Re: funny southern tote bag Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:03 pm

Malcolm, I just hope that White Lily outfit isn't moving to Ohio.
_________________
Mystery Writers of America, Private Eye Writers of America
www.dickstodghill.com

Subject: Re: funny southern tote bag Sat Jun 21, 2008 6:17 pm

Dick, they are probably outsourcing to China!

I love your tote idea, Rhett. Should get a lot of attention.

Shelagh, those pictures have me drooling. Pardon me while I dry off my keyboard. Laughing

_________________
Zada Connaway
Mother's Journals: parts 1, 2 and 3 ISBN # 1-4241-6969-0

http://www.zadaconnaway.com/

Subject: Re: funny southern tote bag Sun Jun 22, 2008 3:02 am

Ok, Shelagh. Now I have to make them. That means the oven on and it's 108 degrees here. Darn!

_________________
www.brendahill.com
www.authorsden.com/brendahill

Subject: Re: funny southern tote bag Sun Jun 22, 2008 3:13 am

Much cooler here Brenda. I think I'll make some too pirate

_________________
Pam Robertson

http://andthebandplayedonmylawn.blogspot.com

Subject: Re: funny southern tote bag Sun Jun 22, 2008 3:21 am

Bet yours will turn out better than mine, Pam.

But I have a question: the photos looks like biscuits, which I love, but the scones I've had were more like popovers with a different texture. Anyone know the difference?
_________________
www.brendahill.com
www.authorsden.com/brendahill

Subject: Re: funny southern tote bag Sun Jun 22, 2008 6:55 am

The only scones I ever had were in a hotel in Hong Kong (also the only place I ever had carrot juice...neither an experience I burned with desire to repeat)

The were conical and very dense, almost like unleavened.

I thought they sucked. The crumpets were better.
_________________

Admin Joined : 11 Jan 2008 Posts : 1780 Location : UK